Drunk and never there love

It was year after I had graduated my high school. I went to learn further. I was shy girl always I would sit alone by myself. People would give me weird stares and laugh at me. I was there sitting with my laptop and writing. Good god knows what but writing was always an escape for me. In a way it still is.
So it’s been like two month since I started my new school I got used to people staring and all the things. I knew I wouldn’t belong there ever. So I didn’t even try. One day there was this guy who came around asking if I had a cigarette and sure as hell I had plenty. So we went out and had a smoke. I kept siting there by myself. But he would come around again and again.. Then he would just sit next to me. I didn’t cared much. But then I had some girls saying that ‘Don’t give him smoke. Don’t do this. Don’t do that.’
I should’ve better listened to them. The 4month when we were sort of together was awful. I can’t believe I ever let myself go so low. His parents loved to drink. There were scandals all the time at their house. So we also went drinking. At first everything was okey more or less cause I didn’t bothered to think of how low I’ve skipped. But then I got tired. And he would still keep ask me for money and drink with his friends. He would get so drunk that I would have to look for him in cold winter night.
There was this one moment when he was so drunk and we all sort of was but when he’s drunk he’s terrible. He would just hit me, call me names push me against fridge or even worst. So he had went to get cigarettes but no one would give him so he had banged the window out. He wasn’t coming back for long time so we all got worried and looked for him. He was on the ground screaming some nonsense to old man holding him to the floor. So we had to get him out of there. But he wasn’t even able to stand on his feet. I was holding him pulling him just to get him home. But he kept pushing me screaming at me. And when I would let go he would start to attack me both physically and verbally. I would just cry at nights. But I couldn’t break it. I knew it was a mess but I also knew I had to be strong.
Well luckly for me we separated ways. Later he was put in jail for I don’t even know what. But I knew it would happen some day.
So girls, if he treats you less then you deserve.. just quit him. For yourself. For your future and even for your own life. I learned it the hard way
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#savingme is the column where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to savingmestory@gmail.com and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not. More details here. 

One thought on “Drunk and never there love

  1. Thanks for sharing such a sad part of your story. Yes we think that we must stay – strong. Good for you that you are safe now and away from him.
    You’re right to remind people that they deserve to be treated well.

    Like

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