Cry it out

It has been a long time since I posted anything authentic on my blog so here I am, just a girl, a blogger, a writer, telling you that my inspiration should be on the back of a milk carton because it’s MISSING!

I am fighting this writer’s block for more than a month now which is why I haven’t been posting a lot of my original work. At the beginning I just thought it was because I have moved past some experiences which used to fuel my writing (which I actually did), then I took on the excuse that it’s because I work too much and then I started to believe that I haven’t been reading enough, dedicating myself to art enough which caused my block. All of these reasons are correct but they are not the main reason why it has been hard for me to write lately.

The main reason is that I became detach from myself. I can feel something just bottled up inside of me and I am trying to keep it that way by not addressing the issue. It’s hard to actually explain what it is because I have no idea what it is. I just know that somewhere in the last few months something snapped inside of me and it resulted in my inspiration just fading away.

I want to talk to you today about the first sign that actually pointed to this issue. Crying. I know that mostly people associate crying to sad events and feel uncomfortable talking about it (as if it wasn’t completely normal) but crying is therapeutic.  Crying as well as laughing actually heals your soul in many ways and crying helps you to just let go of anything that has been causing you pain and suffering.

My problem isn’t that I cried a lot, my problem is that I didn’t feel the need to cry at all for a long time. Shit happened, I had reasons to be sad in the past few months but nothing. Nada. Zero tears. You remember I mentioned something bottled up inside? Well, it started to boil inside of me obviously and then it started. I just choke up because of random things, my eyes get filled with tears because of such random events that I am now going insane and telling people that I have allergies.

Whatever I bottled up, wants to burst out and this is why I learned the importance of crying at the wonderful age of 23. There’s nothing wrong with crying. Sit down, get yourself a glass of wine, put on some sad songs and cry it out. You will feel better and you will be more connected to your emotions.

I have a lot of work to do on myself to repair this damage I unconsciously inflicted upon myself, my writing, my soul and mental health but I am getting there. I just wanted to share this with you because I think it’s important to talk out loud about crying and getting in touch with your emotions, recognizing pain instead of trying to hide it. Don’t bottle things up so you don’t end up like me now.

Anyways, I hope all of this made some sense. As you can see this writer’s block is causing me difficulties with expressing my point but the only way to beat it is to WRITE WRITE WRITE and cry obviously.

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

Bloom Where You Are Planted

I was encountered with the statement above many times. I was impressed with the amount of positive impact it has on me every time I read it, the reason that pushed me to add it to my wall-notes. Putting it in my room makes it in front of me each time I walk in my room, because of this; I decided to write this text about it. This statement contains a variety of meanings that swims under one big concept which is POSITIVITY.  Whatever the circumstances are, we must be full of life and hope. we must make the best of our hard times. We have to change our vision of our problems and make good opportunities of them, through which we can learn more and get stronger. And we must make the present situation look great. A suitable matching example for this statement is the sample of flowers that are still blooming and growing  rather than the hard atmosphere they are planted in.

Hope is that power that blooms within us every time we fail and we lose something or someone. Live your life; don’t put it off for tomorrow, don’t delay your tasks to the future that perhaps would never come because unintentionally you are losing your time and ruining your life in the same while. Create something, build a goal and classify this goal into steps. Work on those steps, work hard and show to others and to yourself that you are capable. For sure you have a very unique side that people praised you for, enhance it and bloom through it. You are a wonderful creation, bloom where you are planted! =)

I am 28 years old. I am a Teacher, an amateur writer, painter, a humble cook, photographer,fashion designer and dress maker in the same time, languages learner, I love reading, green tea and books, kids, sea, sunsets, plantes, decoration and everything that requires a great sense of beauty. 🙂 Let’s support each other, read what i share and Don’t forget to react to it 🙂 Be positive, be you!

Find more of my writings here 🙂 https://youandius.wordpress.com/
Thanks for this Opportunity of sharing what we write
I know that Positivity Press doesn’t exist anymore, but I couldn’t help myself – Luna

Get out of the box

Fear and other peoples’ opinions are the killer of dreams and prosperity. This is a phrase I have to repeat to myself daily and it took me years to come up with it and to completely acknowledge it.

I thought that I was always held down by others, that my life was a product of other peoples’ choices when in reality my response to their opinion was fear which made me put a hold on my dreams and taped my mouth shut when I wanted to speak up. Despite knowing that I need to listen to my gut, I still catch myself obsessing about somebody else’s opinion and I fear doing what I think is right because someone will judge me. Soon it will be a year since I said “ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT!”

A year ago I quit my university to do something. I had no idea what I was going to do. I just thought to myself that I need to step out of the box I put myself into and think for a second what is it that I really want. Trust me when I say that taking a step out of the box is never taking a step out of the box. First you scratch the surface a bit and they you wait to see what happens. Then you try to fix the scratch because you think you’ve done something wrong. Then you reach your hand through that box to feel the ground around it. Then you get scared and put that hand back. Then you sit tight in your box until you recover. After sometime you get your head out of the box and see that there are no monsters out there trying to kill you except the ones you make up yourself and you can control those. It’s all in your mind, it’s all about your mindset

That box can be the death of you so start scratching, reaching your hand out, seeing what’s out there because trust me that the journey is difficult but the outcome is amazing. A year ago I never thought I would be where I am today. I found myself in digital marketing. I finally came to accept that I don’t have to have everything figured out. I don’t think that not having a masters will make me beg on the street. I am educating myself through different channels, I am exploring my options, I am putting a price on my work because I finally realize my work is worth something.

The thing I want you to know is that you need to trust your gut, it already knows where you’re supposed to go. Give yourself some credit for how far you’ve come and keep on pushing. All you need is one person that believes in you and you need to be that person. Be your own backup plan, be your own cheerleader and just ignore the noise because that’s what it is. Just noise. People who have time to talk about you are people who have nothing better to do. Don’t give yourself enough time to be like them. Stay focused on what you need, what you want, where you want to go. It’s not a sin to put yourself first, it’s a necessity.  Embrace who you are and step into everything you are meant to be.

#savingme – Solace and Sanity

Your hand released
Everything changed
Family extracted
Like I never existed

Lost

Little girl
Tear filled eyes
Stains down on her cheeks
Scars across her tiny body

Prisoner

Love, a foreign dream
Comfort, no such thing
Tragedy, encompassed grief

Suffering

Those dark brown eyes
Concealing what they have seen
Visual antipathy

Broken

Little smile
Pasted on perfectly
Something she learned
Authentic joy a mystery

Alone

Separated siblings
Mix and Match despite their feelings
Disposed of completely

Abandoned

Another child
Made to pay the price
Adult responsibilities
Addiction’s insanity

Violence

Seven years old
Lifetime of misery
Wise beyond belief
Desperately pursuing stability

Acceptance

Running to escape memories
Desperate for harmony
Just a little safety and peace

Solace

Wonderment in simple things
Never taking each breath for granted
Every day a new opportunity

Admiring

Thoughts infiltrating
Positive healing
Complete tranquility

Sunrise

Lost in the majestic beauty
Embraced by strength
Smile on her face
Kissed by the sunlight
Absolute comfort

Serenity

Blog: https://thebrokeninsideofme.com/

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

#savingme is the column where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to savingmestory@gmail.com and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not. More details here. 

Positivity Press #52

Drifting assiduity
Groggy reflections
Purposeful stillness
Silencing

Meticulously surrendering

Mindfulness
Such rawness in the void
Profound lucidity

Reminding me

Truth
Love
Purpose
The answers
Complete serenity

All Reside within me

Symbolization attained amidst faded dreams

Blog: https://thebrokeninsideofme.com/

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you want to share positivity here at The Positivity Press send in your positive news with pics and the link to your blog (if you want) to postpositivity@gmail.com

Be kind to yourself

We hear phrases such as “Listen to your gut” or “Love yourself” everywhere. They are screaming off social media platforms, life coaches use them, we see them written everywhere but do we really grasp the concept of being kind to oneself and loving oneself and listening to our gut?

As always, I’ll start from experience. A few months back I got my bachelors in Italian and Spanish philology. There I was, all proud of myself for finishing the three years without failing one single class, with a title in front of my name and then the time came for me to start my masters which would have taken me two years to finish. That feeling… I’ll never forget that feeling. Every time I thought about going back to my university, spending hours in classes, studying, preparing for exams… It made me want to die. I had extreme panic attacks. My gut was yelling “Hell NOOOOOO”. I told my gut she should shut up because society and my family told me that the field I was in, which was foreign languages, was nothing without a master’s degree. So I listened to what others had to say and I started my masters.

The panic attacks increased. My health was deteriorating. I had to use every single piece of strength I had to pull myself out of bed and attend a single lecture. I hated the world. Negativity was oozing out of my skin. Then my gut decided to fight against my decisions in every way possible. I was never the one to oversleep. If my alarm went off, I was on my feet already making my morning coffee. All of the sudden, I started oversleeping. I wouldn’t hear my alarm and I started to miss my lectures. After a while, I started failing exams. It took me a while to gather the strength and say that I quit. Right then and there I placed the label “FAILURE” on my forehead in big, bold red letters for everyone to see. I called myself a failure.

I promised my family and myself that in a year I would enroll in a private university and start a masters in International relations and diplomacy which costs a lot of money but I came to an agreement with my mom that we would get a student loan from the bank. Since I considered myself to be a failure, I didn’t start looking for a job in my field of expertise because the part of my brain which told me I was a failure also told me that there are people with masters and PHD’s in languages, people who studied abroad who were better than me and that no one would hire me because they could hire those other people who weren’t failures like me. I got a job as a waitress. Regarding that experience I think it’s enough to say that I can’t count how many times I had to drink to make it through my shift but I considered my behavior to be okay because I was a failure.

Time passed by, my health was getting worse, I was making all of the wrong choices regarding relationships in my life and then it hit me. I hated myself and I resented myself so much that I was torturing myself at a job I hated and punishing myself just because I didn’t fit in with societies norms. The time came for me to get the student loan. I was depressed for weeks. I didn’t talk to anyone. I ended up in the emergency room because I couldn’t breathe normally. Life was just bitch slapping me and then, after months of banging my head against a wall and living just to survive I decided I can do better.

I quit my job and started a new one where I am somewhat in the proximity of my field of studies. I said no to the private university and decided to attend lectures in Digital marketing because this is something that gets me excited. How did this shift in my behavior happen? I started to be kind to myself.

I scrapped off that “FAILURE” label from my forehead and told myself that it took courage to drop out of school and start finding myself. It took strength to admit that I was lost and unhappy. It took fucking balls to take control of my life and start living it according to my rules. The shift first happened in my head and then it manifested in my life. All I had to do was give myself a pat on the back and tell myself that I am doing the best that I can and that it’s okay to take time off to find whatever it is that’s missing from my life. Changes aren’t painless. Changes aren’t easy but if during that change period you hate yourself and have negative self-talk you will only make things worse for yourself.

Do I know what the hell I am doing with my life? NO
Do I hate myself for that? Also NO

I still relapse into my old behavior patterns such as drinking, smoking and hating myself for not being the poster child for society norms but I also identify that behavior quickly and implement positive self-talk into my life. Don’t call yourself a failure and don’t put yourself down. You are so much more that what others think of you. Hell, you are so much more than what you think of yourself. Give yourself credit for how far you came. Recognize your mistakes and learn from them, don’t use them as fuel to the fire of your self-hate.

You need to reconnect with your inner world in order to start being kind to yourself.  You have to do this via a process that suits you best such as writing, meditating, exercising etc. That voice in your head that is trying to put you down will always be there, you just need to be louder than it.

Positivity Press #48

Do you know the impact they really have?
We get so busy with life and everyone uses words all day along, for their whole life.
Some spoken
Some written
Some typed
Some sang
Some screamed
Some drawn
Some painted
Some hung
Some framed
Words
Just words or more?
Think about it
A simple “good morning” has the ability to brighten someone’s whole day
A “thank you” might be the one thing that encourages someone to keep going , when they feel like they have failed
A “thinking of you” could be the message that breaks weeks of silence for someone
A “are you ok” might be the one thing that opens a line of communication that a friend desperately needs
A “I hope you are doing well” could be the only encouraging words someone hears that day
A “I’m here for you” could safe a life
A “remember when” could produce a memory and laughter that replaces someones tears
A “congratulations” might be the response someone needed during their unspoken battles
A “I’m so happy for you” might produce the courage someone was having difficulty finding in themselves
A “I appreciate you” could have just lifted the spirit of someone suffering in silence
A “I love you” that isn’t done out of routine, but truly in the moment is the kind of thing that makes our heart sing
A “hi or hello” could be the only personal interaction someone has had in the years since their spouse passed away
I could go on forever but I’ll just say.
Hi
Hello
How are you
I appreciate you
I hope you are having a great day
I’m happy for you
Im here for you
And congratulations on your accomplishments today!

xoxo
♥️ me
Thebrokeninsideofme

https://thebrokeninsideofme.com/

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you want to share positivity here at The Positivity Press send in your positive news with pics and the link to your blog (if you want) to postpositivity@gmail.com