Fuck my life.

Why does life have to be so cruel?

So, let me tell you what I am being a drama queen about today!

I have had, since the beginning of time, a very bad relationship with food. Literally, since I was born there was something wrong with my metabolism, I was always ill, I was underweight as a child, there was always some issue but I have never been tested to see if I am allergic to anything.

So my dumb ass decided that enough was enough. I am 24 years old and I can no longer live with my stomach constantly hurting and thinking about what is going to happen to me after I’ve had food in a restaurant. I decided to go and do a test to see if I am intolerant to any food or food group and surprise, surprise I AM!

I know that there are people who do not approve of food intolerance testing but I had to start from somewhere. Let me tell you, that shit is expensiveeeeee. I knew that the “food elimination” diet will not work for me. I cannot keep a food diary and I am not the type of person to stand around in stores reading food labels. I will have to become that person now.

The standard, I am intolerant to wheat. I was expecting this because I know how my tummy reacts to certain things so this is not surprising. Now, for the most painful part, I am kind of intolerant to barley which makes me intolerant to beer. Are we going down the rabbit hole of my posts and try to count how many times did I write “I am going to have a couple of beers with my friends” or “I am just going to relax, watch Netflix and have a beer.”? I wonder why have I been feeling so ill all the time?

There were many things on the list that I am intolerant to and one of those things were egg whites. You know what’s funny? At the beginning of this year when I was trying to get my life together and eat better and lose some weight, I was counting my calories. In order to eat less calories, I was eating only egg whites and threw away the yolk. I am regretting this currently. Egg whites cause the worse reaction in my body according to what the clinic sent me so that is for sure going out of my diet and I don’t know what to think about it.

I am not going to take all of this as facts and just go out and eat grass for the rest of my life like a cow. I have an appointment booked with the nutritionist on Friday and I am going to wait and see what she will have to say. I am guessing that I can eat some of the foods I am intolerant to in small amounts because I am not allergic to them. We shall see!

I know that food intolerance is not the same as a food allergy but if there is the slightest possibility that adapting my diet a bit would lead to me not having as many stomach problems, I am in! I am just exhausted with my tummy issues because it has really been going on since I was born and the explanation for why I had such bad digestion as a kid is also explained in this test because I am intolerant to casein which is a protein found in breast milk. This is the reason why I believe this test is not complete bullshit.

Since I can remember, whenever my mother talked about me as a baby there was always the sentence that I was crying and screaming a lot and that the doctors were telling here that I might be allergic to something, some type of food and they tried to reassure her that it wasn’t her milk so she breastfed me for a very long time. No wonder I have awful digestion. Thank you doctors from Germany who didn’t test me in time because the tests were allegedly to expensive, my 24 years old broken metabolism is thrilled you decided not to do that.

So this is what I have been dealing with today. Did I cry when I saw the results? Yes. I cannot imagine my life without eggs and wheat and cheese and all the stuff that brings me joy when it comes to food but health comes first. I am going to try and not panic until Friday when I have my appointment so you can expect an update then.

I hope you are having a better Friday then I am. If any of you ever dealt with stuff like this, do share your advice in the comments!

Sending love and positive vibes,

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11 thoughts on “Fuck my life.

  1. Ugh I can sympathise, I wouldn’t know what to do without those foods either.

  2. So sorry Luna. It’s hard giving up the things you enjoy.
    On the bright side you now know what’s going on and with the help and advice from a nutritionist I’m sure you can find a well-balanced meal plan. One that you can enjoy and keep you healthy.

  3. May you find peace with all that’s being stirred up in your world. Sending you so much love ❤

  4. I cam empathize with you. Some years back I discovered I was allergic to one of my favorite foods, nuts. I have to stay away from eating any nuts. It is difficult because I love them and because they are found in many other foods. It is difficult at first but you will get used to it. You will win.

  5. There is good news from my personal food intolerance history, some food are life long intolerance, but some I am ok to consune in moderation. It was like a bomb dropped on my head when I found out I was intolerance to many foods. It gave me an opportunity to reset my eating habbits and detoxify my body. Now I am pretty health in the food intolerance department as I eat a more simple diet and I barely feel the intolerance. I hope this helps a little bit Luna.

  6. Firstly, let me mention that I’m at the other end of the age spectrum to you. After suffering severe gut pain at the start of this year I was diagnosed with Diverticular disease, but tests showed I didn’t have it. The diagnosis was changed to IBS and I was referred to a dietitian. Then a friend asked if I was sure i didn’t have Coeliac Disease and suggested I get tested for it too. I tested negative, but then learned that you often get false negatives if you’ve been gluten free for some weeks – which I had been. Mt doctor said there was no point in going back on to gluten for 6 weeks and being retested because a positive test would cause him to recommend going gluten free. My new dietitian disagreed, saying there is no point limiting your diet unnecessarily. So, with the dietitian’s guidance I embarked on a Low FODMAP diet using the Monash University FODMAP Diet App to guide me and a great book by Dr Sue Shepherd “The Two-Step Low-FODMAP Diet and Recipe Book” – both of which I highly recommend. After completing 8 weeks of challenges, I learned that I need to be careful of foods containg Sorbitol (such as stone fruits) and to limit the amount of garlic I eat (1 clove causes significant pain, 1/2 a clove I can manage). It’s been hard going and very difficult to eat out, but I am now re-intrioducing foods one at a time to my diet – if I have no issues, I keep them in the diet. If I have a problem, then I’ll know to be wary. The other thing is that whilst on the restricted diet I lost a lot of weight which I didn’t need to do and required me to buy a lot of smaller belts, underwear, trousers, pyjamas, etc, so I am now working to put some back on to bring myself back up to a sensible BMI. I wish you all the best dealing with your problem – and send you much love. Brian

  7. I’m a “food” man. I love just about everything– including foreign recipes. If I had your intolerances, I’d be totally miserable. Good luck with your next test results. And research some interesting recipes containing items you can consume.

  8. Dear Luna, A well portrayed article on disorder.

  9. There is a song by Peaches called “Fuck The Pain Away”.

  10. I wrote you a note about this or your newer post, but if you want my wife’s contact info, let me know. So sorry Luna. But glad that you are beginning to find answers. 🙂

  11. Hi Luna, I haven’t read more of your articles yet. I still don’t have a complete picture of what it is that your suffering from. I’ve had Crohn’s disease since age 10. I’m 50 now. And it’s really a long story if I want to describe what I did or what I do now to deal with it. I can’t be sure, but I’m glad to help in anyway, to share, if there’s something I did in regards to diet that could help with your case.

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