*Before I get started, my first novel is out and you can get it for free for a limited time only: Little Rebellion
I’ve been through my share of significant life events in the past 27 years and I think that my perspective change the most regarding other people’s opinions.
I was always a headstrong person and I knew what I wanted. It’s the way I was born and growing up in less than desirable conditions taught me that I just need to push through. “If you are already in hell, just keep walking” is what I always told myself.
But then something changed and I started to become a bit addicted to the approval and opinions of other people and it was the most detrimental thing in my life. I was so desperate to fit in and be accepted that I started changing who I am fundamentally.
In the past few years, I managed to shake it off and realize that people will always talk and have their opinions and some people just don’t want to see you get better or (God forbid) be better than them. I just stopped caring about what everyone had to say. There is a privileged group of people in my life whose opinion I do take into account, but I don’t live by what they have to say either.
If something makes me happy, I will do it. If something doesn’t make me happy I will not do it. This helped me a lot in my writing career because I just stopped overthinking if someone is going to laugh at my creative output, my poetry, my blog posts or anything I share publicly. I am doing this for me, not for the approval of others and I am doing it because it makes my soul happy.
Simply, I learned to seek my own approval first.
People will always talk. All you can do is put your creative work out there, do what makes your soul sing, make decisions that feel right for you and even if you fail, you failed on your own terms and you can start again on your own terms.
Love,
Luna
My new book is out and it’s free for a limited time only: Identity crisis
Make cocoa puffs with me:
I love this and I can totally relate.♥️
This is an incredible message, Luna. I used to write and perform spoken word poetry a lot. The problem I faced in doing that is when I wrote in that style, I found myself mainly writing in ways that would evoke a reaction from the audience. In doing that, I kind of ignored what I wanted to say for the sake of getting the desired approval. Ultimately, my work was getting the intended attention, but I was losing my voice and my true passion for the art. All of that was because I was seeking approval from others.
Some would say it’s a sign of advancement in your craft to know how to create something out of thin air and get the desired response. It works for commercial purposes, for sure. But it also hinders my ability to express myself genuinely through my art.
I thought about that a lot, especially how the need to “monetize” our hobbies and the commercialization of art actually destroy it all together. I have dreams of being an author and making my living off it but I always wonder what would happen if it came true? Would my writing ability go down the drain because I would constantly be under pressure to put out more work in order to get paid?
I think it’s difficult sometimes to maintain a balance with wanting recognition for your work and being authentic with yourself and your art. It is a very thin line we are walking on.
It for sure is a very thin line. As I was reading your comment, I thought of the quote, “God punishes us by answering our prayers.” Just like you, all I want in my heart is to make a living out of my writing. So I wonder how can that possibly be a punishment? But my conclusion is I want to try the success first to see if it’s that bad—if my authentic art will suffer that bad—and maybe then I’ll make my way back to where I was.
If you say so
16 behavioral scientists have distilled the wisdom we need to live a fulfilling life; By looking at their personal experiences through the lens of experience…
Wonderful post
Good luck
Truly
“I am doing this for me, not for the approval of others and I am doing it because it makes my soul happy”. This hits hard Luna! I had a pretty rough teen life because of seeking approval plus abandonment issue I had with my Dad.. till it got to a point I hit rock bottom! That’s when I took charge of my own decisions and what I really want outta life. I figured out that most people are projecting their own insecurities onto others. It’s strange as you said that people don’t wanna see you get more than them. So, they’ll try to make it feel like you’re the problem! Knowing damn sure they have to face their own demons. I’m really inspired by your journey and more others reading your posts. Am glad I was here!
I know the feeling…keep being you. F the rest of ’em.
agreed👍
I totally agree 💯 humans are insatiable
books and cocoa puffs? that’s a win win
Good for you. Keep going.
i feel you. this time i feel i need everybody validition. i just lose confident to decide what the best for me. it’s hard to come bace to the track
I love this post. I can relate. For most of my life, I let others define who I am and what I “should” believe. There’s a freedom in learning to develop your own opinions, appreciate your own emotions, and grant your own validation. Keep up the awesome work!
This is the mindset I’m trying to adopt. I didn’t even realize I was a people – pleaser until this year, and I’m 24.
I was this person too, until I decided enough was enough.
Thank you for your post, Luna.
I think so many can associate with you. It’s important to do things that make you happy, and to love yourself. You blog beautifully! Approval from others is not needed, and I look forward to reading more of your creativity and following along with you.
Cheers,
Noni.
Very well written and expressed, Luna. Yes, we need to love ourselves first and put ourselves first, especially when we have people depending on us. It’s a good thing you realized this sooner than later… I learnt this the hard way too.
This is something I have been working so hard on! I’ve noticed when you are true to your authentic self, the right people find you and your world is happier.
Luna, this ties in perfectly with something my recent quote “Comparison is the casket of growth and procrastination and doubt are the pall bearers”. L.B. Inspirations.
Very true
Impressive 😌
Yes, my own approval first. I say this about my poetry, that i approve first.
Thank you for liking my posts!
I know this feeling all to well and can relate on so many levels…this is how I feel today actually; no longer care…thanks for helping me see it from another perspective such as yours. Cheers!