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#savingme

#savingme: Give Women Their RAGE Back!

Throughout my existence on this platform, I have often put up post such as “leave something positive that happened to you so we can share some good vibes”. I put up many posts like this in 2020 because this year was the year we all needed to remind ourselves of things we are grateful for because all of us have struggled with our own demons and problems in this pandemic. So I had to write this down because I didn’t want you to think I have anything against positivity and looking for reasons to smile. With that being said, let’s get into what I really wanted to discuss here.

I don’t post a lot on #savingme because it gets hard. I no longer live in domestic violence, but talking about it, opening some wounds is still painful and the fact that my brain just decided not to remember a lot of my childhood to protect me (I guess) doesn’t make this easier. I think I have repressed memory, but I am not doctor. Maybe my memory just sucks but I believe that my brain is trying to protect me from those hurtful memories.

Now, let me ask you a question. Why do you expect women to be happy and smiling all the fucking time?!

I am not attacking you directly because I don’t know you but if you ever used the phrase “You are so much prettier when you smile, you should smile more often etc.” I am kind of attacking you. If you ever placed a woman in a situation where she was forced or bullied into smiling and pretending everything is okay, I am kind of attacking you. To try to explain this better to the male audience that might not understand this so much – forcing women to be composed, happy and pretend like everything is perfect all the time is equal to the idea of the “masculine man” being imposed on men where you are expected to be a stereotypical man who should know how to do stuff, lift things, not have feelings or cry ever. You know what I am talking about “the manly man”. Since I am not a man and do not have experience with this, I would like to point out a poem that sums this up nicely: Guante – “Ten Responses to the Phrase ‘Man Up'”

Why am I writing about this and linking it to domestic violence and abuse? Let me explain that. Women, and I have seen this on my mother, feel the shame when they go through domestic violence. What will the people say if I call the cops? I am a bad mother because this man is beating my kids. It falls upon me to carry the burden of this domestic violence/abuse without realizing I am the victim. The same thing happens with rape. The victim is shamed into silence and the “women have to be happy” feeds into this fucking problem.

We are expected to play a part in the world and a great part of that role is covering shit up and being happy all the time, giving out this impression of having our life together, having the perfect family, being good cooks, caring for kids and expected to want to be mothers, if I might add (I could write a whole new post about this topic). When we get angry, when we voice our discomfort or just our opinion that doesn’t sit right with other people then we are PMS-ing. “It’s that time of the month”. “Our hormones are doing the talking”. “We will calm down once our period is done”. Stop bullying women into thinking they are crazy when they are unhappy! Stop bullying women into not seeking help when they are abused.

When shit hits the fan, when the cops are on the doorstep, when women walk around with a black eye, when someone is DEAD, when a woman kills herself because she was raped, then we hear the phrase: “We didn’t even suspect something was wrong, she always seemed so happy”. How many times have you heard this from someone or on TV? How many fucking times have you heard this phrase or a variation of this phrase? Why do we need to have women mentally and physically scarred for life or a dead body to realize that there’s something wrong?

When a woman says no, when she pushes you away, when she tells you to stop, when she calls the cops on you and accuses you of abuse, she is not making stuff up and being crazy. She is uncomfortable and scared and this is not the time for women to think they should go easy, not raise their voice or say NO with an uncomfortable, fake smile. You have the right to get angry when someone is invading your personal space and abusing you. You have the right to fight back and seek help. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

This is why I say GIVE WOMEN THEIR RAGE BACK. Give us our anger back and watch us evolve even if it scares some. Just that freedom of being able to experience emotions that society tried to tell us we are not entitled to, will give us also the freedom to speak up about abuse and to fight the oppression.

For anyone dismissing all of this TRUTH that I just wrote as a “feminist rant that makes no sense” and if anyone envisioned me as a man-hating, no-shaving angry female that is fighting a fight that doesn’t exist anymore because “we gave women rights” let me just tell you that 1992. was called the year of the women the same way that 2018. was called the year of the women and despite all of this we are still fighting the same bullshit, the same sexual harassment, women are still fighting harder than men to get into high positions and the same people are still trying to silence us and bully us into submission. Google your facts before you call women angry feminists and trust me that we will write, yell, protest and fight as long as we have to until every woman and every little girl stops being silent about oppression and abuse because “that was the way it has always been and if you speak up, we will shame you into believing it was your fault. now SMILEEEEEE”.

This is not to say that women are never the abusers, but I can only speak from my perspective. I know there are men and boys abused by their mother and/or father or any other person who are scared to speak up because of the “manly man stereotype” or because they go through the same fear and shame mentioned before. I think that abused men and boys are an issue society has to dive into thoroughly  because we cannot pretend that it is not happening and telling men to “Man up”. There are stories to be heard from their side and I hope they will speak up as well.  If you want to share your experience you can on this platform and you can stay anonymous if it makes you feel safer and better.

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#savingme is the community where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to savingmestory@gmail.com and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not.

Latest Poem: Poem #345
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Latest Coffee Date: Flowers in the Garden 

Categories
Poems

Poem #111

This is to the men calling me paranoid:

Every single catcall feels like someone is
using a rusty razor to peel my skin off.
I get tired telling myself to just look forward
and not react while the honk of a car is
tearing through my ears. I beg for them
not to stop, I beg for them to keep driving,
I beg for them not to turn the car around
and try to get me inside and try to get inside of me.

Do you know that the words spoken about
our body and what should be done to it
tears through us like fire through ice?
If we walk the streets at night and someone
comes too close to us, someone tries to take
advantage of us we hear their voices already:
“It was her fault. She shouldn’t walk alone at night”

As if we weren’t free, as if the word female doesn’t
come with any dignity, as if being born with a vagina
makes us inferior, as if we shouldn’t be scared of a
society where rape culture is a thing, a trending
Twitter topic of the week.

This is to the men calling me paranoid: Why did your
kind give me a reason to be like this?

Categories
Poems

Poem #103

Women like her don’t fall.
They wear their pain with pride, like
bright colors to warn the enemy that
they have been through hell and made it
through.

Women like her can’t be defeated.
Defeat is a lesson and they accept it as well
as they accept a victory. Her level is
above and beyond. She is strong.
She is fierce. Don’t bother trying to
stop her because she knows where
she’s going.

Categories
Poems

Poem #66

All of those scared little girls are
turning into strong, fearless, fierce
women taking control over their lives
and how does the world respond.
They call us bitches.

They are the scared boys who need a woman
afraid of them to feel like men. They are the
women who are scared to step into everything
they can absolutely be. They are the society filled
with prejudice and intoxicated by inequality.

They call us that because we no longer
live under the fist of a male world,
because we covered the world in glass
when we broke the fucking ceiling,
because we no longer hide our intelligence
nor do we keep our mouth shut.
We are just getting louder, smarter,
stronger and more connected.

If that means being a bitch, don’t worry
the word doesn’t insult us. We are claiming
it, we are taking it as a compliment.

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Categories
Poems

Poem #27

I will just watch them bark, trying to get a taste of me.
I will listen to them claiming they own some part of me.
I will nod quietly to their statements about making me.
I am not yours to claim, to own or to make.

Finally, I’ve adjusted this crown on my head.
You are pawns, I am the queen.
All of you miserable boys combined can’t do what I’m capable of.
The fear is gone, the need is extinguished.
Come at me little boy, you won’t win this.

 

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Categories
Uncategorized

BAD FEMALE

Again, shamelessly commercializing my little article on Ebay about females and the ways I “fail” at being one.

Don’t let Judgmental Judy tell you that you should know how to do something just because you are a woman. You can do whatever you want and also you don’t have to do whatever it is that you don’t want to do! If you enjoy having take-out and eating out, then do that. If you want to use your fridge as a storage unit for frozen meals and wine, do that! If you enjoy spending hours in the kitchen preparing meals and inventing new recipes, do that (and also send me some food since I don’t know how to prepare it). Don’t let them tell you that you suck at being a female just because you don’t have a certain skill Judgmental Judy thinks you should have…

Link to the article  BAD FEMALE, GO TO YOUR ROOM (and escape through the damn window): https://www.ebay.com/itm/352457536757

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Categories
Coffee Date

BAD FEMALE, GO TO YOUR ROOM (and escape through the damn window)

Women are so bombarded by standards about their looks, career, obligations, purpose, relationships that most of us feel as if we were inadequate for our role of being a woman. Actually we are made to believe there is actually a role to be played and this isn’t only true for women. Men go through the same thing but since I was born with a vagina, I will speak from my perspective.

***

Here I will list things that according to the standards make me bad and inadequate to be a female and to express people’s opinions I will use my trusty friend that I just made up called “Judgmental Judy”.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have never had a long lasting relationship. Most of my relationships end after three months and I absolutely suck at relationships. Judy thinks there’s something wrong with me because I can’t hold on to a relationship for long. She tried to find answers to the question what’s wrong with me in my horoscope and my parent’s failed marriage. Let me just bitch slap you Judy and explain something to other females who are similar to me. Don’t ever think you are missing out on something for choosing to be single.

***

I will stop here with this writing. Every female knows what this is like because we all have our own personal Judgmental Judy. I wrote an article under this name and listed it on ebay so you can jump over there and purchase it for only 1$. It’s short and cheap so I really hope you will give it a go and come back here and tell me in the comments if you agree with me!

Link to the article: https://www.ebay.com/itm/352457536757

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