Today is a hard day to write something and I don’t have any backup writing for days like this. Last night, around 11, I came back to Zadar. It was so hard for me to leave my family and my BFF Isabella. It’s not that I got too used to being at home, it’s that Zadar is not where I want to be anymore.
I already addressed this problem in my post I got my Bachelor’s degree and today I’m just dealing with some bad feelings about being back in Zadar and about going back to the university. I just don’t think it’s the right path for me. Despite being completely aware of needing a time off from the university and exploring my options I decided to enroll to grad school because I was just scared that if I take a year off I won’t be able to find a job or that I will just fail. Honestly, I feel so bad about letting fear control me and for making me take this decision I knew I didn’t want to take from the start.
It’s not that I’m completely stuck. I actually applied for a job in the UK. There is this agency from Slovenia that recruits people to go and work abroad. My first meeting is this week and I’m really nervous about it. I hope they’ll like me and call me for a second meeting. It would be lifesaving for me to find a job in the UK or in any other country in Europe because I have this overwhelming feeling that I just need to change something, get out of Croatia, break this routine I’m in.
So, sorry if I just rambled on here but I told myself I will always be honest on my little blog and that’s what I did today. If I get some inspiration I will publish something later in the evening. I am just taking this day to get my mind straight and to prepare for my first lectures tomorrow. If any of you have some advice or experiences with this type of situation feel free to leave a comment or send me a message on my social media.
Love you all!