So my anxiety woke up this week and chose violence.
I am not having the best week. My life in general, not the best, but this week my anxiety has just been killing me. I hate when it happens and it lasts so long. Do you know what I hate the most? My lack of creativity during this period and sweating. People who suffer from anxiety know what I am talking about in this last one. When you are just sitting, minding your damn business and you start to sweat and it smells really bad. There, a little insight into the life of anxiety.
What has happened? Nothing, to give you the answer right now. It was supposed to be a week just like any other and here I am on a fine Saturday evening bullying myself into leaving the apartment because I haven’t done that today yet…
I had a very lovely evening yesterday with my two friends from work and I believed it will help to lower my anxiety but it did not. I’ve spent the day on the couch, watching Youtube and TikTok.
I hate how my anxiety comes in a duet with body insecurities. If you hadn’t known this, let me just tell you that my bad mental health has declared me an ugly, fat bitch this week. So that’s how I’ve been seeing myself this week and I am currently trying to fight against these negative emotions.
The positive thing is that my mom is coming tomorrow and she always makes me feel better so I hope she will have the same effect on me this time. I am going to shower now and watch the Friends reunion. It is a show that I love and considering my mental health right now, I honestly hope they did not mess up the reunion because I will cry. I did cry already once today for no reason and I will do it again if necessary.
I know I said I will not skip on my video publishing schedule and I am here to tell you that there is no youtube video this week. I was not in the right space mentally to film a video and I know that because I filmed a video (unscripted) and when I took the footage to try and edit it I realized that I’ve gotten very heated during my monologue on the video and I started yelling a bit. I was literally screaming at the camera without realizing I was screaming. As you can tell, the video will be about something I am passionate about but I need to re-film it because I don’t want to scare you.
You can in any case, checkout my last video:
Thank you for being here as always. I hope I will be up and strong again soon.
Something I like to say anytime I share these types of posts with you: Check in on yourself and check in on your friends!
Sending love and positive vibes,
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6 thoughts on “Knock, Knock! It’s me – anxiety!”
“The positive thing is that my mom is coming tomorrow and she always makes me feel better so I hope she will have the same effect on me this time.” – I’m sure she will. Moms can have that effect.
Sending prayers of strength and comfort your way. 🙂
I hope your mam cheers you up and I hope you will feel better soon. Keep fighting the good fight.
I battle depression…much of the same feelings…💙
Hope you recover soon!
🙏❤perhaps video version one was cathartic and needed to be released