This Sounds Familiar

Home sweet home! 

I got on a train this morning and came home to be with my mom for a while. I don’t want to jinx myself, but I’ve been having a good streak with trains. Usually, when I was supposed to go home, trains would be late or completely cancelled and the past few times I had to travel home they were on time and there were no prolonged stops along the way.  

Another reason why I am home is that I actually need to get my eyes checked. My appointment is, finally, this Tuesday and fingers crossed that checking my eyes and possibly getting glasses will be the answer to the question “WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT ALWAYS?” 

No matter how excited I am to finally have this appointment and possibly solving my headaches, I am terrified of stepping foot into a hospital. Cases have been on the rise lately and there is chance of some scenarios repeating such as the hospital system being on the brink of collapse again. In the area where I live cases have been on the rise and the hospital that I am going to for the appointment has been hit because of it. They’ve had to expand their covid unit because there’s simply too much people who require hospital care after testing positive. Even my mom was self-isolating because she was exposed to the virus but luckily, she tested negative. 

All of this is just too familiar and too anxiety inducing. I avoid reading the news and I absolutely avoid reading comment sections below posts about the pandemic because it’s my way of keeping my mental health as safe as possible but there are situations in which I read the news and get informed about the current state of the pandemic and I had to do it this week and it messed with my head a bit.  

I know that on Tuesday I am putting on my mask, getting in and out of the hospital as fast as I can and putting everything I will be wearing into the washing machine as soon as I get home. You can never be too safe. It’s not even so much for me as it is for my mom. I don’t want to get her in any type of danger now that she is struggling with her other health issues. When I am in Zagreb and by myself, I am way more relaxed about this. I still wear my mask and stick to safety measures but I don’t have this pressure of possibly exposing my mom to the virus.  

I hope you are staying safe and that we won’t have another lockdown Christmas.  

Love, 
Luna