What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?
I feel confident to speak on this subject because I have been going to therapy for quite some time now. I still deal with negative thoughts, as many who read my blog know. I literally spiraled when I published my first book and couldn’t write for months because of how much my inner voice was messing with me.
I have this tendency (that my therapist loves and hates) to over-analyze and rationalize every single emotion and thought and event in my life. Sometimes my therapy sessions just consists of me telling her what happened and how I dealt with it and why it happened and what my motivation was and what the motivation was of those around me because I will sit down with myself and analyze what caused another person to do something the way they did it. This, I would not recommend.
But what I would recommend is sitting down with yourself and analyzing where these thoughts are coming from. What helps me is writing (big shocker, I know). Often these thoughts are just a reflection of some belief we picked up unconsciously during out lifetime or we are simply going through a rough patch in life and it’s influencing everything that we think about.
Also, when it comes to negative thoughts, sometimes it’s simply not us. We, unfortunately, live in the find out phase of Fuck around and find out. Nothing about the way we live has any sense and most of us are struggling day to day to cover the bills, have a stable and good life while the planet is burning around us, we are bombarded with horrible news all the while we are looking at people online living the life that we want. There has never been a more suitable time to drive yourself insane with comparison to others or just by opening the news in the evening so, sometimes, the best thing you can do to stop those negative thoughts is to temporarily shut the noise out. Stay informed, but to the point it doesn’t mess with your mental health. Realize that a lot of people around you and people you see online are literally just faking their lives. Even if you are behind on something and feel like a failure, it’s important to take into account the external factors that contributed to that – it’s not always just you.
And finally, talk to that person. I think that a lot of times, our negative thoughts about ourselves and our relationship, family, etc., simply come from making conclusions without communicating with the people in our lives. Have the uncomfortable conversations and clear things up. Don’t just sit there in silence, stewing in your own negativity.
Wow, this is quite the rant. I am definitely not an expert (which is why I have a therapist and I would highly recommend you get one too, 10/10 experience), but I do believe there are some tips and tricks I could share. My main one is that you need to find an outlet – writing, singing, music, exercise etc., that will help you process your emotions instead of letting them consume you.
Love,
Luna
The second part of The Stanhill Series is out and you can get it on Amazon: Beneath The Mask.
If you haven’t moved to Stanhill yet, you can get the first novel on Amazon as well: Little Rebellion