We were more toxic than this
cigarette between my fingers
Like a good addict I am still
looking for those eyes
that loved to undress me.
My mind is silenced.
My heart is twisted.
I wonder is it human to crave
poison while I lie awake,
a bit drunk with smoke in my lungs
waiting for you to come back.
We aren’t of those who want
to conquer the world.
We would build one ourselves.
But what is that good for if
we are playing the hurting game?
Who is going to let his trauma
win over love first?
Which one is going to self-destruct
and turn us into dust?
You need to know how to read
minds to know what I am saying.
I need to threaten to leave
to get an ounce of your attention.
Maybe it isn’t our fault we
are too messed up to love?
You don’t even know I was raised in a world
where showing weakness gets you killed
which is why you are still surprised I am
unable to let you inside.
You hit me up after midnight when
I am already drowned in my nightmares.
You come and go like waves and let me
fall deeper into my denial.
I need to know you are here
to stop my mind from terrorizing me.
But even when you slam the door when you leave
you won’t hear me say: Stay.
I will just hide in my shell.
I recognized you in a crowd of people.
I felt your presence on that street during rush hour.
Without a sound, without a warning
memories creeped up on my mind.
I turned my head in your direction and whispered
to myself “I once loved that man”.
Don’t fight for the one who doesn’t know
how to keep your heart safe.
The time wasted on his selfish needs is a time
you will never bring back.
The only way to mend your soul again is to
give yourself the love he’s been stealing for himself.
Leave him behind, his attention is overrated anyway.
I know you’re scared but let me show you the way.
I have done this more than once, trust every word I say.
You need to fake it in public, so they do not ask questions.
Behind closed doors you can sink your face into my shirt
but don’t call, don’t text, don’t deepen the wound.
The wound will heal, there will only be a scar.
You will step out of my dark into her light.
I will find another, promise myself it will last
only to wake up with a bitter taste in my mouth
reminding me that love wasn’t made for everyone.
I will proceed to show him the steps of this hobby of mine,
this hobby I turned into my craft,
this art of being good at saying goodbye.
All of you will be happy in life and
made eternal in the poetry I write.
Written by: Luna
I decided to believe love is enough.
I will hold you with both hands and
we’ll call this place a home.
In a sea of my sad songs I’ll write you
one filled with colors.
In a world full of fake lives
I will find something real for us.
This time it will better and this time
we will better and this time it will be forever.
The emptiness of this room whispers
to me with the same pain you had in your voice:
“Sometimes love just isn’t enough”
With those words you made the poetess
in me want to set on fire all of the poems she wrote.
If not love, then what?
I always believed happiness wouldn’t give me
a thing to write about but then I meet you and realized
that every movement of your imperfect being is a
poem waiting to be engraved on my skin
The reason why you felt so loved around her
is because she wanted to feel it to but you
were to selfish to see other than your own needs.