Going Down

The light slowly leaving.
Dolor creeping into this blank space in my head.
Swallowed up in this ever-deepening gray haze minimizing my liveliness.
Pitch-blackness, my old friend, immobilizing me again.
No energy, desire, motivation or strength.
This thick sadness creates a loneliness where hope can’t creep in.
Courage oozes away, one drop after another of life leaking to somewhere it can’t return from.
Goals left to die in the waves of this depression.
Silent tears pitching between wet, heavy sobs.
An aching all-encompassing deep pain leaving invisible scars.
Severe despondency and dejection, I doubt life can go on.
It’s a reality in my head not worth living.
Escape from that which continually pulls me down feels impossible, this devastating extreme of the opposite of happy.
It feels like I’m stolen from me.
I feel over.

Susi Bocks, writer/author/poet, has self-published two books – Feeling Human and Every Day I Pause. She is the Editor of The Short of It which recently produced its first anthology – The Sound of Brilliance. Bocks’ has works published in the anthologies Through The Looking Glass – Reflecting on Madness and Chaos Within, As The World Burns, SMITTEN: This Is What Love Looks Like: Poetry by Women for Women and inVitaBrevis, Spillwords, Literary Yard, and other literary magazines. You can find her work at IWriteHer.com or follow on Twitter or Facebook.

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