You wake up with nausea and dizziness
but not with the will to wake up.
Go through the day not feeling like yourself,
you are selling your soul to the devil and that
devil is the world you are trapped in.
At night, before bed, you are in the shower for hours.
You are trying to purge the sin from your body with water
as if you just stepped out of a Bible while in reality
you have been questioning the existence of God
for years now. You turn the water off, your body is burning
but for a moment there you feel clean.
You promise yourself that in the morning it will be better.
Full version is in my book Identity Crisis which is available on Amazon
I enjoyed reading these much-relatable themes that encompass a state of not being totally aware of what’s wrong. It’s as if the subject in this poem is trying to erase merely the feelings that stem from an unknown source, though not its source. Physical symptoms like nausea and dizziness in the morning after waking up, alongside having the experience of water during a common activity like taking a shower seem to show that the desire to be removed of a certain agony retains focus on the surface. Also, the final line, “You promise yourself that in the morning it will be better” appears to capture a repetition of all the lines that came above. Another day that comes after the current one will repeat the same routine of attempting to get rid of the “sickness” that the subject suffers with.