Poem #102

You loved it when I kissed your back
and hugged you from behind. It was
probably because you didn’t want me to
see your eyes and the intentions hiding
in those big brown sweet lies. I had a
safety line and decided to cross it for you.
Turns out there was a cliff behind it and I
fell heart first into the abyss. Shit, even after
losing you I’m still falling.

I was the light to your darkness, the sun to
your moon. We were yin and yang, the perfect
balance of right and wrong but your wrong drained
out my right. Did you actually think that what you
imagined to feel for me would make you change your
ways? You? A boy hiding behind “It’s too hard” excuses
without having tried anything in life. You? A selfish
child who only knows how to count to one because
he always puts himself first.

You didn’t love me. You loved the idea of me.
You loved how I contrasted you, you loved having
arms to hold you at night, legs to spread,
a shoulder to cry on, someone
who will always justify your destructive deeds.
The things  you allegedly loved about me
didn’t make me your loved one, or the one
that can have faith in you and feel safe with you.
They made me replaceable.

I am aware of all of this but I’m still falling.