Don’t be a sore loser in the battle with yourself because that battle is the most important one you will ever lead. Throughout life we lose a lot – family members, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends etc., and every time we lose someone our personality gets divided into two parts.
There is the weak part of us that is grieving and then there is the pretend strong part of us trying to fix the situation as soon as possible and that pretend strong part of us is a sore loser. I’m not the one to put in a good word for people being weak but in situations like this one must let the weakness live in him and control it.
We need to learn how to heal ourselves on our own. For example, the most common loss we experience are breakups. We lose a boyfriend or a girlfriend and, without being aware of it, we lose a part of ourselves with them. Every relationship we are in makes a part of us and the person we are with becomes one part of us. We give them something, we can never get back and once that person leaves that part of us leaves with them and what do we do then? We find another person to fill that void, to be the missing puzzle and that is a sign of us being sore losers.
Jumping from one person to another will only break more parts from you and you won’t only have a few voids, you will be a great emptiness. You will let people come and go , taking parts from you until you end up with nothing.
Facing loss is hard but losing yourself is harder on a longer term.
When you lose someone, you need to admit to yourself that you lost. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you lost and then cry, scream, run, sleep, do anything that will help you accept that fact. Don’t let your weakness and grieve overwhelm you, but let it be there. Letting go and suffering is sometimes the best way to heal yourself and to become stronger. Each day you will get better and that void you feel will start filling itself with memories of the person you lost and you will learn to cherish that loss and all of those nice memories without holding a grudge. You are able to become your own doctor and to patch yourself up.
Don’t use other people to fill your emptiness because they are not building material you can use when you think you need to. Other people have feelings too. Instead of jumping from one relationship to another, from one friendship to another, looking for a person that will love you, learn to love yourself and learn to be your own building material.
Sometimes loneliness is the best way to discover everything you really need. Just take some time off. Read good books, watch good movies, take care of you body, workout, spoil yourself and fall in love with yourself because love from others comes after self-love.
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