Poem #105

I had doubts from the beginning
and I guess I should have listened
to that voice in my head saying: ‘’slow
down girl, it’s going so fast’’.

Not really sure what was I looking for,
maybe some love and affection. I knocked
on the wrong door and entered a chamber
of regret that has no exit sign.

I’m just sitting here, wondering where I
went wrong. Maybe I should have been
more careful and listen to my inner voice.

I feel weak and I need manna to fall from the
sky because I doubt I’m capable of even fighting
for my breath right now.

This chamber of regret has a sweet taste to it.
I think I’ll just sit here some more and contemplate
about my deed. No rage, no sadness – just thinking.

Will it give me strength to pull myself out of this strange
place? I don’t know, but right now I got used to the silence
and it doesn’t torment me like it did before.

I’ve made so many mistakes and I know I should
make it right but I have no strength to change.
This chamber of regrets became my safe place.