When someone exits a relationship that was hard to end, there are certain fears when it comes to meeting someone new, putting yourself out there and I get it. We all get it. What actually angers me is people treating other people as if they were experiments. Let me break this down.
If you are not sure whether or not you are ready to meet someone, get into a relationship with time or just get close to someone then don’t try. Don’t give someone the impression you are interested in them, don’t treat them like you like them, don’t give them false hope, don’t lead someone on just to cut them off. It’s not okay. It’s playing games with people’s emotions 101. You can’t treat someone as if they were your boyfriend/girlfriend, expect the benefits that come with relationships, call that person a friend, make them believe that you’re heading towards a relationship and then end everything by using lines such as “I am not ready for a relationship yet”, “I am scared to get close to you”, “This is all going too fast for me”. Just don’t toy with people.
If you are not sure about getting out there, getting close to someone and if you’re still freaked out when you catch some emotions for a person then don’t go too close to them because it means you are not ready. Just stay fucking single. Fear is not an indicator that you should try something – at least not in this situation because there is a possibility that the person involved will catch feelings for you, get comfortable enough to trust you and get extremely hurt in the end. Then, not only do you have a bad perception about relationships but you’ve also damaged someone else’s perception as well. There’s a chance that the person that got hurt will be reluctant to believe someone new, get to know someone, or let them close. You are just creating more damage and honey, karma is a bitch. Just sayin’.
My point here is not that you shouldn’t go out there but you should listen to yourself. If there’s fear, doubt, anxiety – it means you need more time to heal. You need to find the source of the problem and deal with it. Ask a friend for help or someone who’s close to you but just don’t use people to see if you are ready to date or not. Focus on self-care, heal and things will fall into place.