Poem #248

When you are your worst enemy
happiness is just a mistake in the code of your existence.

It’s fleeting moments of peace and light
that soon get swallowed by the darkness of your mind.

You tell yourself you don’t deserve it.
You tell yourself you are not worth it.
You are eating yourself alive and you
cannot run away from yourself.

When you constantly stop yourself from moving forward
future is that what others have and you cannot reach.

It’s the promise of a better tomorrow offered to those
who don’t have voices in their head saying: “You can’t do this.”

You are kicking yourself when you are down.
You are drowning yourself in sadness.
You are your own hell
and you don’t know how to live with that.

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22 thoughts on “Poem #248

  1. How we are trapped sometimes.

  2. That moment when we feel nothing is worth living for? And can’t just find meaning to existence… These are common feelings with being ones enemy. However, there is always a reason to be happy regardless of how little that reason appears.

  3. This, too, will pass, Luna. x

  4. Poem is the best reflection of one’s mind ….. great work 👍

  5. Why do you write about things like this? Are you inspired by trauma and pain? Are these things you would say to yourself about your own traumas? Can you even comprehend other peoples trauma, predicaments, and pain, and how goddamn condescending your explanation of ur making your own hell sounds? Would you have the same inspiring set of words for someone succumbing to cancer? I have also noticed that there are writers on this site that have multiple accounts using the same illustrations. Very similar content too.
    “You are kicking yourself when you are down.
    You are drowning yourself in sadness.
    You are your own hell
    and you don’t know how to live with that.”

    Who is this supposed to change or be inspired by that? Just read this out loud to yourself? Even if this would apply to someone, it’s patronizing. Just giving my honest opinion and keeping it real.

    Take care Anna.

    1. It’s me talking to me, actually. I am very open on this blog about struggles that I am facing when it comes to my mental health and life in general and I am having some issues I am trying to work through by writing. I understand how this poem can come across to someone who hasn’t read my post about not doing okay, seen my video where I address some the issues I am having, but the intent was never to make someone feel bad, be condescending and I don’t know how having cancer corelates to a poem that’s about low self-esteem, self-sabotage and fighting the feeling of not being good enough.

      Poetry, as any other form of art, hits people differently and everything that can be found on my blog that’s written by me is 100% my own experience so to answer your question – yes this is what I said to myself about my own trauma. Sometimes you need to dissect the dark parts of your mind through art to see things clearly.

      Just a sidenote – being open and vulnerable about mental health issues, low self-esteem and not feeling good enough on the internet is absolutely scary but sometimes it’s the only place people have to express their struggle and find comfort. Attacking someone in this way, implying that someone would use such a poem to talk to people with cancer could make someone close up and feel worse. I understand where you are coming from, but before you write a comment such as this one on somebody elses post do your research.

      I am sorry if my poem offended or triggered you in any way, it was not my intent.

      1. It’s very clear this is an illustration of self-talk, negative or otherwise, and that it’s reflective within your own mind, not “advice” for others. Keep writing for you and only you!

    2. Well put Luna! You actually responded in a very polite way, more than what that person deserved.

      Blogging is Not easy. Actually telling anyone how you really feel and allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable to the world, people you don’t know, is not easy.

      I am new to blogging and I joined because I felt like I could get inspiration from others and motivation to do the same. Everyone has difficult times in their life, some more often than others, and they just don’t know how to help themselves.
      I feel like the blogging world is a way people can express their moods, their lives, their truths. This should not be a place to be shamed or criticized. And how DARE anyone for telling you not to express WHO YOU ARE or HOW YOU FEEL.

      I simply feel like if you’re reading a blog and it doesn’t fit your current mood or outlook on life, simply move on. You do not need to make a person feel worse about how they feel.

  6. Life is largely a mind game. To a large extent, your attitude determines where your life goes. You have expressed this truth rather well in your composition. Well done!

  7. Hi Luna,
    Everyone has a shadow side and we must all encounter that side of ourselves from time to time but too much dwelling in the shadows is not good for us. I am happy for you that you use art to write such heartfelt poetry.
    Try going for walks in green spaces and pay attention to the moment. Look at the trees, flowers, take your shoes off and walk on the grass. Listen to the birds and find and concentrate on the small joys of life.
    Come home and cook yourself a nice meal, read a new book, listen to some music. Start small! I think you are very brave to be so open about yourself on this blog. Take care of yourself and remember if it all gets too much to seek professional medical help.
    I am sending you love and light to shine in all the dark corners, Carolyn. ❤👩‍🦰❤

  8. you learn to live within your own skin

  9. Wow. What a beautiful expression of a powerful message, Luna. Thank you for reading on my blog. :~)

  10. You may be reflecting your own feelings of depression – which you have attached to the reader – by using the term ‘you’ which is somewhat insulting. Your lines are phrases – rather than verses.

  11. Try and keep yourself out of the poetry – and write from the point of view of an observer.

  12. I can feel this poem, it is so beautifully written ❤️✨

  13. Good job, my Internet friend, good job, my co-worker. Nice!

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